I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
