butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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