I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
