Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
