I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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