So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
