Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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