I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
