Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
