Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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