he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize