she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
