dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
