Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
