i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
