the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
