I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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