he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
