Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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