its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
