break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
