I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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