I can tuck mytits in my pants
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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