Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
