I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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