Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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