i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
