Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
