I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
