There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
