hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
