someone threw a dead crab at me
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
