i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
No subtext here. People are naked.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
