You made me cry and you don't even care
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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