So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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