why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
