He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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