Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
