mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Buhtt sex?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
