I'm going to jail i love you
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
