I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
