I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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