Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
