Duck Duck Cougar?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
