oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
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