just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
