I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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