just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
