when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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