3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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