You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
